Hey Mom, sorry for not keeping in touch with you for a while. My schedule has been quite demanding, and I had to take some time off for myself. Each day feels like a game of chance, much like Russian roulette, as I wake up uncertain of how I will feel or what the day will bring. Nonetheless, I am grateful for my understanding friends who are supportive when I need to cancel plans. On a positive note, I am gradually becoming more comfortable in my own company. The four walls of my apartment no longer seem as suffocating, but rather pleasant. I enjoy engaging in solitary activities and cuddling with my adorable furry companion, little Potato. By the way, I am happy that you had a chance to meet Potato. I can still envision you on the couch with Potato on your lap. Your ability to appreciate simple things was always a source of inspiration for me.

Spending time alone has enabled me to comprehend that many of my worries are beyond my control, and accepting this brings a sense of peace. I have reconciled with the fact that I cannot change others, and they have their own issues to address. I am concentrating on myself and acknowledging that I am someone who has the best intentions. For years, I had doubts, thinking that I was a good-for-nothing person. But now, I realize that I am, in fact, a good person, even though I make mistakes. Rather than perceiving them as errors, I view them as opportunities for growth.

By the way, I am planning a trip to the Philippines soon. I am thrilled to be able to embrace Nanay again and reconnect with the rest of the family. The thought of seeing her again makes me emotional. Although the concept of family did not hold much significance for me, you and Nanay hold a special place in my heart. It will be therapeutic for both of us since I lost a mother, and she lost a daughter. I promise that I will take care of Nanay as long as I am alive. I know she will do the same. However, I must confess that I discovered the reason why you, your brother, and your father passed away at such a young age. They all died between the ages of 35 and 45 due to a heart muscle disease in our family, and you were aware of it but never disclosed it to me. I believe you wanted to protect me, and for that, I am grateful, even though I wish you had informed me earlier. We could have done something to prevent what occurred. Nonetheless, I am now in the same boat as you, and I plan to visit the hospital frequently to seek medical advice. Initially, the notion of having only ten to twenty years to live frightened me. Still, I decided to utilize it as motivation to live life to the fullest.

I love you always
Forever your anaki, Dian